The Nerd Tourist

Celebrating Nerdy Travel

I embarrass myself so you don’t have to #1

Nobody wants to embarrass themselves. I hope by talking about mistakes that I made, folks can avoid making them themselves.

If you read the zeroth post in this series, you will find that I broke the First Rule of International Travel and wrecked my sleep schedule. But it was the morning of my first full day in Japan and I was going to grab something to eat at this coffee place up the street. Now, Tokyo is a wonderfully modern place and with the exception of the door to my hotel room, every door that I had encountered after getting off the plane had been automatic. Those cool proximity ones where you don’t have to do anything to trigger it but walk close. The door to this coffee shop was automatic as well, but I could not see a sensor or a pressure plate or anything that I would recognize as a trigger. So I’m staring at this door, trying to figure out how to get it open. The patrons of the cafe can all see me, wondering why can’t this foreign idiot work a door. And after what was probably 30 seconds but felt like 15 minutes of just standing around looking bewildered, I bailed.  

I did notice there was this thin strip of black plastic vertically along one side of the door. Later on, I would notice that a lot of doors had this plastic strip on them, about 80% of those strips had the word “push” written in English. So the first time I encountered at automatic door of that time and it was one of the few that didn’t say push on it. I’d like to think that if I didn’t mess up my sleep like in #0, I would have figured out that door. Or if I went exploring the night like suggested, I would have came across on that said push and have no problems applying that logic to this pushless door. Anyways, in Tokyo if you come across an automatic door that you cannot open, check the edge of a door for a pressure strip and you can avoid looking like a chump in front of commuters trying to grab a quick cup of coffee before work. 

I Embarrass Myself So You Don’t Have To #0

Full disclosure, the event in this post doesn’t actually cause embarrassment but is in a contributing factor to embarrassing moments, including the the first post in the series.That’s why its a #0.

The Cardinal Rule of International Travel is, that when crossing many time zones, no matter how tired you are, you cannot go to sleep until your normal bedtime in your home timezone. Doing so makes it easier for your body to adjust to the new time zone. 

So, if you normally are in bed at 10, stay awake until ten, even if you’re like me and cannot sleep on planes and you’ve been up for close to 36 hours. Even if you’re super-tired, go do something. Go explore the neighborhood around your hotel and plot out adventures for your first full day in a new place. Go find a breakfast place so you don’t have to think about it in the morning. (Bonus tip: try to eat breakfast [or lunch] at the same place the entire trip, Locals will get friendlier once they’re seen you a few times).  Just do not think “I’m a bit warn out from travel, let me got straight to my hotel room and watch Netflix for a bit.” Because you will fall asleep at 7 and wake up a 3 a.m. and spend 4 hours or so playing Civ 6 as Babylon until places start opening up and you can get something to eat and get in a situation where this happens. Hypothetically speaking. 

Ways to combat loneliness while solo traveling.

Loneliness while solo travel is a legit fear. Here are some things you can do to combat it while solo traveling.

  1. Take a package tour. 

      Though technically not a solo trip, you won’t know anyone you will be traveling with. But with all the time spent on this form of travel where most of your time has been dictated by tour company, you’re pretty sure to find someone in the group you like, or at least tolerate. 

2. Take a day or half day tour.

    For me, I feel taking an entire trip with strangers can be more stressful than being lonely, so I prefer doing a day or half day tours. You can book one towards the middle or end of your solo trip when the loneliness of solo travel starts to accumulate. There are many tours and tour companies to choose from and most can be booked an app. These tours usually have one or two other solo travelers you can hang out with. And I’ve found that there is always an older couple who are willing to adopt you for the tour, especially if you’re the same age as their kids or grandkids.

3.  Stay in a hostel.

     If you avoid looking at hostels before because you value alone tome, I’d like to point out that hostels are not just eight college kids crammed into bunkbeds. Most hostel have private rooms and some even have private bathrooms. But I think the most attractive feature of hostels is the common area where folks hang out and be friendly to fellow travelers. You can be social when you need to and then retreat back to your private room when you’re done. A lot of hostels have optional activities and tours, allowing you to really customize the amount of social interaction you experience and with the bonus of learning some cool stuff about your currant location. While private rooms in hostels are comparable in price to hotel rooms, if you do save any money, its just icing on the cake. P.S. there is no “old person stigma” for staying in a hostel after a certain age. Unless you’re actively creeping on someone half your age, no one will care if you’re going gray. 

4. Use Airbnb

    No, not the rent a whole place option, the rent a room option. Depending on the set up and schedule of the host, you should be able to socialize and retreat just like a hostel, but in a smaller group. So it you’re not comfortable in crowds, staying with a couple or a small family maybe more your style. Plus, interaction with locals may score you a unique perspective that most tourists won’t get.

    Full disclosure: staying as a guest, even as a paid guest, in a stranger’s home sounds very stressful to me and I have not done this. But a lot of folks find this rewarding so I wanted to include it.

    But one Airbnb feature I have utilized was Airbnb Experiences. It’s a service that connects travelers with locals who can give tours, or teach a cooking class, or provides some other type of local experience. I have taken a walking tour of Akihabara led by a HUGE anime fan. And while I could have found all the places on the tour on my own, having the context she provided was great and it was great to be able to say “Oh, that’s cool” to someone. Typically, people on Airbnb Experiences are not professional guides, just regular folks with a passion for their city or area expertise. It really felt like I was being shown around the city by a friend.       

5. Take a food tour.

   The in-between of a day tour and an Airbnb Experience in terms of size, usually around 8 – 10 people. Unlike day tours, which are typically random folks seeing the sites, people on a food tour share a common interest: trying new foods. I found that “What foods have you tried so far this trip?” is a good conversation starter and there is frequently another solo traveler in the group. I’ve also felt that food tour guides are less rehearsed and less formal than regular tour guides and it was easier to build a connection with them.  

Concerns about Solo Travel

Making travel plans with friends can be hard. Things can come up and folks may have to drop out. You may find yourself choosing between going alone or not going at all. Sure, you can reschedule for next year, but there’s no guarantee that something else won’t come up. If you have the means to, I recommend traveling solo. I’ve have found solo travel quite rewarding but I understand that many people have concerns on solo traveling. I want to address some of those concerns right now.

Concern 1: Won’t people judge me negatively for traveling alone?

No one is going to think you’re weird for traveling alone. Most of the time, people are too busy with their own live to even notice that you are by yourself. And if they do notice that, they have so much stuff going on that they don’t have time to think, “Look at this loser, they don’t have any friends or loved ones to travel with.” Your lack of travel companions is just not going to cross anyone’s minds when they have 50 other customers to help or a thousand errands to run before they can get home and bingewatch. But you’re right, there is a possibility you will be judged for solo travel. Whenever I told someone that I was traveling alone, 90% of the responses I got were “That’s cool, I wish I could do that.” And the other 10% were from other folks who have solo traveled and they just agreed that solo travel is rad.

Concern 2: What if something bad happens and I cannot deal with it?

While there are some dangerous places in this world, I’m not sure they hold any appeal to a fist time solo traveler. I believe that anywhere that interests a newer solo traveler is already used to tourism and has institutions in place that help you in any situation, including having law enforcement and medical staff that can speak your native language. And like the saying goes, “Forewarned is forearmed.” Almost anything you want to know can be found online, from hot springs that cater to folks with tattoos to restaurants that meet all manner of dietary restrictions.  Nearly every local travel site lists areas of the city you should avoid. And, if you are like me and grew up in a place without good mass transit, you can find videos explaining how to use the trains, subways, and buses of your destination. And finally, I would like to stress that, on a daily basis, you do all manner of remarkable things. You do these things so often, that you forget these things are remarkable. When you get into an unfamiliar location, all these automated skills you barely pay attention to when you utilize them at home, will come out as a strong skillset and you will be able to face any potential setbacks.

Concern 3: What if I get lonely?

I’m actually going to do another post on strategies for coping with loneliness while solo traveling, but for now, I would like to point out that on standard week long trip, you might be too busy to get lonely.

Concern 4: Wouldn’t I have more fun if I went with someone else? 

While some things are better shared, I would argue that solo travel is even more fun due to the total selfish freedom you will experience by yourself. Even among best friends, people have different interests and cramming everything that everyone wants to see in one trip can be impossible and lead to arguments if anyone feels their wants are being ignored. If you’re trying to hit two museums in one day, dawdling in one leaves less time for another. And you can forget visiting a Pokemon Cafe if your travel buddy believes “Digimon is the one true Mon and Pocket Monsters are kiddie garbage.” And travel can be stressful, traits that were tolerable back home can become friendship killers after a long flight or train ride. The conflict between early risers and late sleepers will cause anguish as the former feels they are missing attractions sitting around waiting and the latter feels like they’re being rushed. When everyone can compromise, traveling with others can be incredibly rewarding, the freedom to eat ramen for every meal or to ability to skip the Louvre and spend more time in the Catacombs or to do whatever you want without consulting anyone is way more fun. 

I have taken multiple solo trips and have loved each one. I feel the biggest drawback to solo travel is that you have no one to share costs with. If you have the resources, please take the opportunity to solo travel. I hope I convinced you that a lot of the concerns are easily managed and that the freedom afforded to you by solo travel.